SIMPLE WAYS TO BREAKING NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS
Research shows we generate 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day — 80% negative and 95% repetitive.
These feelings are often tempered by life trying to humble us — occasionally laced with uncontrollable forces shaking us to our core. So when good things happen, we often celebrate these achievements by waiting for our next obstacle.
In essence, we expect to fail 80% of the time and repeat these thoughts 95% of the time. (Sis, don't ask me how this adds up, ask the experts. It makes sense though, let it sink in!)
“Am I good enough? Will I lose this job when they found out about my incompetence? Will he love me once he sees all my flaws? Will I ever get out of this predicament? Yes! finally a break, but for how long though?”
These are some of the negative patterns I developed over the year due to my biggest fears —failure of love, success or just at life.
But why is it even though the probabilities of failure and success are 50/50, we instantly lean toward the expectations of failure?
I had to develop an ongoing discipline, —painful in the beginning but worth it in the end— by creating new rituals I could easily stick to. When you introduce different patterns into your life, you tweak your law of familiarity.
“If you're around anything long enough, you tend to take it a little bit for granted.” – Tony Robbins
Translation: When you go from teacup the first day on the job, to vodka six months in — because who’s going to check you boo?!
By no means is it abnormal to take what we once dreamt of for granted, but it's important to adjust these behaviors by creating new ways to establish that law of familiarity. It's more logical to get used to something better and new, than something negative and old.
I don’t deem myself as an expert on positivity, —I am pretty sure I had a negative thought prior to writing this post— yet that doesn't negate the fact that putting effort to adjust these habits can render new insights into breaking negative thinking patterns.
I am an expert at creating an entire scenario based on assumptions, only to then "practice" the argument, in my head.
I can also be upset for hours, because of what someone may have said or done, to then realize things were lost in translation.
As insane as these negative traits are, —in addition to the ones we would never share with a soul— something positive derived from them, as they triggered my self-awareness. Every time I cross the line between reality and fictional conclusion, I immediately alert myself and snap back into the facts.
“Is this conclusion coming from the source or triggered by my own experiences? Did the person actually make me feel this way or is there an underlying issues?”
If you truthfully answer all these questions, you’ll start choosing your battles.
But if you’re not the problem, it’s okay to clap back sometimes too boo.
CREATE NEW EXPERIENCES
Have you ever been in a state when literally nothing can damper your mood – like falling in love or hearing the sound the ATM makes when dispensing money?!
Book the plane ticket, go see that show, get that purse you’ve been eyeing.
Find whatever constantly feeds your soul and replace that with the experiences that often triggers your negative thoughts.
FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY
It’s really as simple as that.
Feel the fear and do it anyway — it won’t disappear by you not taking any actions.
“Fear does not have any special power unless you empower it by submitting to it. You can accept that you are afraid and then move on.” - Les Brown
Have you ever been on a rollercoaster line? The anticipation could literally cripple you if you're afraid of heights. Yet the minute the highest drops happen, fear is replaced with adrenaline and endorphins.
The same applies for that business you’re waiting to start or that idea you’re seeking confirmation of.
Imagine wanting to do something and feeling bad for it in advance? Find your antidote then practice it — once the first drop happens, your adrenaline will kick in.
I realized that I rather feel the fear once and do it anyway, instead of feeling the fear a thousand times and letting an idea sit.
I have to stress the important of understanding our thoughts are probably never going to be 100% positive, seeking perfection is a recipe of disaster. but creating Lastly, Remember that emotions are not facts!
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